LOOKING AT MY CHOICES AGAIN

by Mary de la Pena, esq

marydelapena-author.com  delapenalawoffice.com

I am trying to be a good patient—really I am! I’m staying away from alcohol, mostly, except for maybe a half glass of wine two or three times a week. And, I am not only back in the pool exercising, but I am eating lots more fruits and vegetables—and a donut has not passed my lips in weeks!

See, Doc? Really, I’m trying!

This was the conversation I was having with my very concerned internist who had been my family’s doctor for more than two decades. But, somehow he wasn’t buying it.

Hmmm, could it be the backsliding? You know, the backsliding of going back to court and dipping into the adrenaline stream—should I tell him?

I hesitated just long enough for him to guess.

“How’s the law practice going?” he asked, staring hard into my eyes.

When I just shrugged, he sighed, which in his vernacular is the same as a scolding. He sighed again, then just said, “It’s your life. Your choice.”

What could I say? Is it really my choice? Can I really abandon my clients who need me? And, what about my law partner husband who still choses to practice?

What about him when he needs help?

These are the choices any professional needs to face when having to make the decision to retire or stay in the arena. But, are they real choices, or are they a product of ego?

Ego—that funny thing inside professionals that lead us to believe our clients can’t make it without us, or our spouses would rather see us work ourselves to death than spend a long happy life together because they need the money we make.

Whoa, dude, maybe I need to re-examine what is really going on. Is it the need for the powerful rush of adrenaline that is making me return to the courtroom, or is it my need to believe I am indispensable?

Hmmm, maybe I need to look at the choices again—focusing on my writing and living the rest of my life in peace, or riding the wave of adrenaline. A choice not as easy as it appears.

Again, stay tuned. . .

HEART MONITORS and TRANSITIONING

by Mary de la Pena, author of 

SCRUGGS and SAMANTHA, How a Shelter Dog and Kitten Saved Cinderella's Marriage

The itching located on my right abdomen just beneath my bra was driving me crazy. That was almost overshadowed by the burning pain on my right collar bone. Only twenty-three minutes into a 24 hour torture of wearing a portable heart-monitor and the leads to device were making me a basket case.

GET THESE THINGS OFF ME NOW!

Mind you, it wasn’t the actual monitor, or even that the doctors were still trying to find my heart that I kept telling them the California State Bar required I leave by the door in order to get my Bar Card to practice law, it was my dire allergy to the adhesives used to connect the monitor to my body.

AAARRRGG! Twenty-three hours and thirty-seven minutes to go. . .

Scratch, scratch, scratch, tap, tap, tap, don’t disturb the leads Mary Jo.

How was it that I found myself now in a position of going from one doctor to another as they tested me and prodded me to find out why I was so tired and why my heart was doing rapid salsa dancing in my chest?

Come on, really?

For those of you have ever had to stand in front of a crowd and give a speech, only to feel the floor drop out from beneath you. Or let’s say you have just seen a horrible accident and wondered how you could help, only to be tortured by dreams for days. Or, a favorite friend or loved one finds themselves in desperate trouble and turns to you for help with the burden of finding a way to help them on your shoulders, that, my friend is what being a practicing criminal defense trial attorney is like on daily basis.

Now, after more than twenty-eight years in the courtroom, my body is finally giving out, and no longer willing to take the stress, never mind the steady diet of adrenaline, caffeine, sugar, and fats.

But, I try not to despair, as I transition to a better life and lifestyle. I am trying yoga—does my body really bend that way? Donuts, caffeinated coffee, diet soda, and red meats are no longer my friends and comfort. But, I do have kale, broccoli, fresh green beans, and I am becoming extremely fond of Sabra Hummus.

And, the brightest light of all as I transition to a new life is that I get to spend time with my beloved dogs—Fina and Scruggs; my cats—Samantha and Boo Bear; and of course my dear husband Prince Charming. I also get to spend more time with my favorite fictional characters of my books—Detective Jake Swanson, Melissa Sanchez, and new ones Kelly Landrieu, Prax Desmett, and Jason Carson.

Hmm, so as I itch, scratch, tap and try to be patient, I decide that maybe this transition won’t be so bad—once this damnable heart monitor is removed!